2015 was an emotional and challenging year… It’s been an interesting experience so far and I would like to share some of my observations with you.
Life can be challenging and takes you to places that you never knew you needed to go. It might sound like I’ve lost the plot but it will all make sense in a minute. At the beginning of 2015, I didn’t think I would see 2016… but something or someone pulled me through the tough times, emotional, turmoil and unclear pathways.
To have landed in the West Midlands, has been the most beneficial, nurturing and inspirational experience of my entire life. It’s almost as if I have been reborn and can now see myself through a child’s eyes which has allowed me to play with my creativity. Sometimes life throws sh*t your way to see if it sticks, and when it does, how you remove it will determine how you develop and move forward or stay surrounded by it. I removed the sh*t and then entered into a pool of quick sand, where things were not moving for me as quickly as I wanted them to. I grew frustrated and annoyed with friends, but what I have now realised is that I needed to enjoy, digest and experience the quick sand and not rush the healing process. The healing process is just as valid as going through the hard times but most of us will prefer to fast forward to the next chapter. Once a new chapter beings, you realise that all of the chapters that you were living in previously are just as important. The loss, frustration, lack of patience, anger and instability has (now that i’m through that) started my new story.
I am the same character, following the same story but the visual imagery that accompanies this is clearer, stronger and more defined for a few reasons; for what I have been through, the clarity it’s given me and the support I have received.
We’ve already spoken about my past so I won’t bore you with this any longer. In life sometimes you need to go backwards before you can go forwards. What I haven’t touched on is the support, the support in Wolverhampton has been phenomenal - at times it has been scary because I’ve never experienced this kindness before. This is no disrespect to my current family who have also given me a level of support that most caring families would do. My additional family have accepted me for who I am, allowed me to grow and welcomed me with unconditional love.
I have had the opportunity to go to church (I haven’t been to church since I was 11), opened my own workshop in one of the most amazing buildings in the West Midlands, helped design a retail store (which I have never done in my entire life), launched my own website, rediscovered my love of photography, put up a garden shed, get my clothes washed (from 1981 I didn’t even allow my mum to wash my clothes) and most of all I am happy, content, strong and more motivated to enjoy being me as I am now.
There are a few things that I am extremely grateful for:
- For the first time ever in my entire history, I have been able to call one very special man my dad. He looks after me, he cooks for me and the greatest thing of all is that he treats me like one of his own
- I have a number of new brothers who have supported me and included me in the day to day family activities which even includes sibling rivalry
- I have a second mom that checks up on me from the UK and always has a place for me to stay as all moms do
- I have a new daughter who I am proud of and admire for the strength that she has displayed in the time that I have known her. Like my real daughter, every time I see her it gives me a sense of joy to experience a life unfolding so frantically. The only two ways to express that enjoyment is to skip or hug someone (hugging my new daughter could be stepping over the mark)
With everything that has and is still happening to me, I need to stop, be grateful, acknowledge and accept the changes that life wants me to enjoy. Sometimes in the day to day living of life, that’s really hard to do. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone from the past, present, future and further future for all of the support, inspiration and the insight you’ve given me to live again. Sometimes life puts you in a place where you never expected to be, meeting people who you never expected to see, who have an affect up on your life that you never expected to happen. This in turn gives you a new goal, energy and a focus to be what you don’t know you’re going to be - to affect people who you don’t know you’re going to see.
So I’m gonna end this chapter (of my life) with a begin, hello to all the young people (i have not yet worked with), Lets change this world and to all the collaborations we will doing in 2016, Bring it on.